6/28/17

I woke up early enough to meditate and peacefully get to work but I purposefully slept in with no benefit. I am still trying to balance out my emotions, how I react to situations and would like to forgive myself for what I have done wrong and do my best to be kind and compassionate and act positively and without harm, I guess more so than before I should be kind to myself as well as those around me. Sometimes small actions and reactions get me agitated at people at work but I do my best to ease up on them and turn my feelings positively towards them as I have tried different levels of successfully with others, always trying to identify good qualities I like on the person and focus on those while trying to let go of the negative ones. I didn't really get to read the Tibetan Book of the Living and Dying outside of the way down, I think I will try to take non spiritual books to read on my way to work and read the spiritual ones at home. I recorded my food journal, got near mostly the food goals. I prepared some broccoli and balled up watermelon and cleaned up the kitchen afterwards to make my parents and Dad especially happy because I see sometimes they have a lot weighing on them. My running clothes got soaked before and will be bringing dry ones to run tomorrow at VCP hopefully to clear my mind possibly more than the gym and lose weight and being more physically healthy for my own benefit and to help me be more confident in life, especially with women my age. I feel like I am working my best to be in a positive trajectory which is all I can do. I want to be more careful with my negative energy in my thoughts toward those I know, I felt guilty being salty about not talking to Aidan in a while and was going to do a call/text drop where I call and or text them when I am feeling frustrated that we haven't talked in a while and then agreeing to stop thinking about them until they reach back, he told my he had been thinking about me and was about to board a plane to Ireland, but I felt not great vibes on the call because of my negative attitude and I regret that and will try and avoid that in the future with friends like Brennan, Eli and Devin.

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